


Ham Squah: In Squahlor

by gamegrumpsfanimated



Series: Ham Squah [17]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Multi, Other, gwash is now in it for the long run, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:43:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamegrumpsfanimated/pseuds/gamegrumpsfanimated
Summary: angel: you all are trashhamfam: correct





	Ham Squah: In Squahlor

**Author's Note:**

> Holy hell I think this might be my longest Ham Squah. Yay!!
> 
> Title suggestion from Ryan.

hamfam: can i just say something.........  
  
elizard: of course  
  
marialews: go ahead  
  
hamfam: this GC.. every time i get a notif for it, i think y'all will have stopped acting wild  
  
hamfam: and every time, i am let down  
  
hamfam: i set the bar on the ground and you all just took a shovel and dug 20 feet under  
  
sirburr: that's sweet alex :')  
  
laffytaffy: but where is all of this coming from?  
  
mulligone: remember last night  
  
mulligone: when john texted him "roast me daddy" 27 times in a row  
  
angel: oh right  
  
elizard: BTW Alex he said he isn't sorry  
  
mulligone: yeah he'd do it more if you didn't blacklist his number and block him on every social media acc u have  
  
hamfam: i will not stand for being publicly HUMILIATED like this  
  
elizard: at least he's not doing it again :')  
  
_angel added jawnlawn to the chat._  
  
angel: welcome back buddy  
  
jawnlawn: Angie ur now my fave. can i date you instead  
  
angel: sorry I'm already married to my memes :/  
  
jawnlawn: ahhh I forgot  
  
hamfam: ://///  
  
jawnlawn: alex i think we said a lotta things we didn't mean last night  
  
hamfam: :///  
  
jawnlawn: i want to make it up to you  
  
mulligone: whatever you're about to say  
  
sirburr: don't say it  
  
jawnlawn: so can i suck your dick Alex  
  
jawnlawn: as bros though. im not gay  
  
elizard: you're dating him  
  
jawnlawn: wym I'm a hetero :///  
  
jawnlawn: sucking dick isn't gay  
  
jawnlawn: long as u don't swallow  
  
marialews: of course you'd know that, john  
  
jawnlawn: sniffs,,, okay, maria. i gotchu  
  
jawnlawn: [cryingseal.jpg] i gotchu,,,,  
  
angel: shut up john  
  
laffytaffy: anyways do you guys want to hear what i found out  
  
laffytaffy: scooby doos real name is scoobert  
  
angel: xgzyfdyziytSeYDYItiYdiYduYdTd  
  
angel: NO STOP I FORGOT ABOUT SCOOBERT DOOBERT  
  
thomason: i saw the word scoobert. ive been summoned  
  
sirburr: cursed words  
  
hamfam: cursed person  
  
pegleg: i mean it's not as bad as human Scooby doo  
  
angel: STOP IT IM IN TEARS  
  
jawnlawn: GOOFY HAS A SON WHICH MEANS HE HAS FUCKED A WOMAN  
  
thomason: john what the fuck?  
  
hamfam: how much must i pay for you to never say those words again  
  
_angel added washingdone to the chat._  
  
angel: WE HAVE DADDY AMERICA IN THE CHAT YALL STOP SINNING  
  
washingdone: what did you just call me  
  
jawnlawn: ANGEL YOURE SINNING JUST AS MUCH AS WE ARE  
  
angel: AM NOT TF  
  
washindone:  
  
washingdone: is it like this every day  
  
sirburr: yes. it is.  
  
marialews: we apologize  
  
elizard: no we don't  
  
marialews: shh!!!!  
  
angel: DREAMGIRLS CAME ON IN THE STORE IM IN BITCH IM BOPPING  
  
jawnlawn: WE YO DREEEAAAMMGIIIIRRLLLSSS  
  
elizard: BOOOOOYYY  
  
hamfam: WE MAKE YOU HAPPY  
  
mulligone: YEEEAHHHYEEAAHHHYEAAHH  
  
angel: WE YO DREAAAAMMGIIRLLS, BOOOYYSS  
  
hamfam: WE'LL ALWAYS CAAAAAAAAAAARREEEE  
  
thomason: WE YO DREEAAMMGIRLS  
  
jawnlawn: DREAMGIRLS WILL NEVER LEEAVE YOUU  
  
pegleg: NOOOO. ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS DRREEEEEAAAAAMMM  
  
elizard: BABY WE'LL BE THEEEEEERRRRREEEE  
  
laffytaffy: ...is this a cult or something? a joke im not in on  
washingdone: ^^^  
  
sirburr: ^^^  
  
angel: see, the reason neither of y'all understand it is because you haven't the cinematic masterpiece that is Dreamgirls  
  
jawnlawn: shame, shame. im disgusted  
  
hamfam: smh. you guys have never truly lived  
  
elizard: next thing we know and you'll probably be telling us you haven't seen Breakfast Club  
  
sirburr:  
  
hamfam: burr,,,,,, i swear to GOD  
  
sirburr: i haven't seen Breakfast Club,  
  
pegleg: what the FUCK  
  
angel: if I could kick people from this GC, you'd be the first one, burr  
  
angel: see, we've got expectations here  
  
washingdone: and what are these expectations?  
  
angel: so one; you GOTTA see dreamgirls  
  
angel: two; knowing the lyrics and choreography to every beyoncé song is required  
  
angel: three; we're all gay. except me. im attracted to myself, so i guess that makes me just narcissistic  
  
angel: four; you gotta know and watch all dem classic movies. like breakfast club  
  
angel: five. if you can't tap dance at least a little you're fucking OUT  
  
hamfam: that last rule is super important  
  
sirburr: but i don't  
  
sirburr: im not even gay  
  
laffytaffy: where is that gif of that black male holding that cup and shaking his head?  
  
jawnlawn: sure, Jan  
  
hamfam: :|  
  
sirburr: :/  
  
angel: lol if u say so, aaron. but anyways these are the things that gotta be followed if we accept you into the squah.  
  
angel: maria doesn't really know all of these but she's dating my baby sister we let her pass  
  
elizard: im not the baby sister, Peggy is!!  
  
pegleg: who is peggy? i don't know her  
  
angel: :|  
  
hamfam: (every man has his own special dream)  
  
angel: AND THAT DREAM'S ABOUT TO COME TRUUEE  
  
elizard: LIFE'S NOT AS BAD AS IT MAY SEEM  
  
pegleg: IF YOU OPEN YOUR EYES TO WHATS IN FRONT OF YOOOUU  
  
jawnlawn: WE YO DREEEEAAMGIIIRLS  
  
washingdone: don't start this shit again  
  
pegleg: BOOOYYSSSSS  
  
marialews: WE MAKE YOU HAPPPYYY  
  
elizard: YYYEEEAHHHYEEAHYEEEAHHH  
  
hamfam: wait y'all i just thought of something. oh my god  
  
angel: what is it??  
  
hamfam: im allergic to peanuts. y'all should force feed me a ton of Reese's peanut butter cups and I'll die  
  
angel: don't die alex id miss you :'(  
  
angel: WAIT SHIT I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT YCHIFX  
  
hamfam:  
  
hamfam: AWWWWWWW  
  
hamfam: ANGELICA CARES ABOUT ME, YOU GUYS!!!!!  
  
sirburr: does Angelica care about me??  
  
angel: hell no  
  
elizard: oohh, ouch  
  
pegleg: GET EM ANGIEE  
  
jawnlawn: yeah get em gelica  
  
angel: the fuck you call me, john  
  
angel: gelica is the ugliest nickname for Angelica and I fucking hate it  
  
jawnlawn: never knew that pissed you off gelica :/  
  
angel: im gritting my teeth. fucking quit it  
  
sirburr: Angie,,, chill  
  
angel: Burr, I appreciate you calling me by an appropriate nickname and all, but kindly fuck off  
  
hamfam: SHUT DOWN TWICE  
  
elizard: ouch x2  
  
washingdone: I gotta admit that was pretty funny  
  
angel: thanks daddy america. anyways Burr fuck off  
  
sirburr: why do you guys always have to attack me?  
  
thomason: because it's easy  
  
sirburr: Thomas what the hell I thought you liked me!!  
  
thomason: who did you hear that from?? because i sure as hell did not say that  
  
thomason: and before you ask, mads doesn't like u either  
  
madisin: what happened i heard my name  
  
pegleg: wth where did YOU come from???? i forgot you were even in this chat  
  
madisin: I was listening to Mariah Carey  
  
pegleg: .........which song  
  
madisin: heartbreaker  
  
marialews: holy shit that song is a fucking bop  
  
elizard: omg maria.... I love u  
  
marialews: ik ;0 luv u too babe  
  
mulligone: ^^laf why can't we be cute like that??  
  
laffytaffy:  >:0 what do you mean!!!  
  
laffytaffy: we are cute all the time!!!  
  
mulligone: last week you called me little cabbage  
  
laffytaffy: >:/ I thought it was pretty cute  
  
angel: yo lovebirds hate to disturb you but i just found something extremely cursed  
  
madisin: and what would that be  
  
angel: my old YouTube acc from YEARS ago  
  
elizard: OMF I REMEMBER THAT ANGIE  
  
thomasin: oh yeah didn't I film a vid for u once??  
  
angel: yeah well. turns out i ate 1/3 of a bar of soap on camera. I was like 14 when I did it  
  
jawnlawn: you ate soap  
  
angel: WHEN I WAS A FETUS  
  
pegleg: lol I remember how pissed mom & dad got  
  
elizard: "Angelica you're setting the worst example for Peggy and Eliza!!!!"  
  
pegleg: "you're GROUNDED!!!! for a month!!!!"  
  
angel: THIS IS BULLYING  
  
laffytaffy: this chat surprises me again and again with each new message  
  
mulligone: ^^^  
  
washingdone: honestly,,,,  
  
thomason: hoenestly,,,,  
  
thomason: also Angelica can you be my lawyer  
  
angel: y  
  
thomason: im filing a divorce against James  
  
madisin: WHAT WHY  
  
thomason: you said Kraft mac n cheese is good  
  
madisin: it is!!!  
  
thomason: bye. we are divorced  
  
hamfam: Madison's right tho  
  
thomason: of course you'd think so, you fucking rat

**Author's Note:**

> Title suggestions, kudos, hits, and comments are always appreciated!! Love y'all!!!


End file.
